Shmokenhagen crumbles

Yes, it is true. The school year is almost over and Shmokenhagen as we know it has crumbled. Fights have occured, people have been blamed, shit has gone down. It's been a pretty intense year for everyone, our sophomore year of college. Anyways, the group has been cracked and broken, but shmokenhagen still lives on anywhere we pack a bowl or roll a blunt. I am still going to record my adventures down in this blog and others who where a part of shmokenhagen will also contripute, at least I hope so, so our readers should not be too sad, if we have any damn readers. Christ, I started this damn thing just to make a buck or two from the ads. My grand total, drum roll, 5.21 dollars. Yay. I can retire now... oh well it's become simply a fun thing to do, describe my drug stories. Speaking of which, I have a tale to tell. So I found these seeds online called Hawain Baby Woodrose seds. If you've never heard of them, look em up. They have lsa in them, a relative of lsd, and they where pretty fun. They do make you puke, so that blows, but the trip is pretty fun, very relaxed. I just watched the office and then ran around outside, it was pretty sweet. I took 5 seeds, i want to do more next time. I didn't eat the whole day so the nausia wasn't bad at all. I puked up water and then I was fine, even ordered a sub. There were very few visual halucinations, but my body basically felt amazing, and my mind was definetely in that trippy state. Allright that's all for now, I'll write again. I'll leave you with my new idea for this site. I just came up with it. Just now. I'm gonna have something new for you to look at stoned or do stoned every single day. Hopefully they'll be fun. Maybe I'll start a comic too. If you can draw, hit me up. Peace and tokage to all and huzzah for the new era in the blog. The Shmokenhagen Chronicles shall continue as an activity site. Woo Hoo! (I hope I remember and actually do this.)

Vaporite

So for the last few days, a week now, i have been smoking almost solely my vaporizer and I am enjoying this change greatly. It save's weed, it gets me fucked up, and it keeps me from getting tired. Also my voice, which as a voice major I must protect and nourish as if it was my own baby, has improved markedly in the last week and it should just keep getting better.
Now I vape at a temperature of 358 ish degrees, unless I am attempting to sleep in which case I crank it up to 430 or so. Any temperature higher than 365 degrees lets off chemicals which act as sedatives and are the reason one gets tired after a fat blunt. Sometimes these are needed and wanted and sometimes you just want to stay awake. I still get high as fuck off this shit though, it's great. I wish i was rich enough to afford a volcano. If you want one of them reviewed, just click on all these adds more. I can get some pocket change. (doooo iiiiit) Anyways, point is I have one of those wooden vap boxes and it is fuckin great. Works wonderfully. Got it online for 60 dollars and it came with an electric grinder, which has since broken. Ebay's great. Anywhoo, i've been smokin mids in this and getting really high, though I did smoke some headies too. I smoke it to the face, which probably makes some difference. I'm really high right now, fuck me. Yeah. I think I'm done now.

GOOBERRY! BLOOBERRY!

So on the heels of a post about marijuana ANOTHER MARIJUANA POST! I myself and BigBlunt(formerly bigbong) were in the possesion of some wonderful heady greeeeen miracles named gooberry and blooberry. My good friend ran into me around midnight cooking up some eggrolls for his bitties,told me he had some fire. He is a great friend and has some great fire. Goo Berry and Bloo Berry are no more, they have already met their end.

Serndipitious Occasions

So this last weekend there was a college celebration, that we took the full spirit of and turned it upside down into massive drug use. Friday night we all got smashed. Mary Jane drank 10 to 12 jagger bombs, with sensi and sugar following close behind, so their night ended a little sad. That's Jagger for ya.
Penny and I the next day were thinking about buying some shrooms but instead we decided to buy a bunch of weed. We bought a quarter of regular beasters the day before and saturday, on our way to smoke a beaster blunt, we ran into a dealer and some cohorts and smoked 6 types of headies in a bong. Then we saw the dealers stash. There was some fuckin Northern Lights and Blueberry, so we bought an eigth of each and proceeded to smoke just about all of it. Since we have had two headie blunts and a shit ton of bowls and bongs. Fuck yeah! So the lighter weed is Northern Lights just like we smoked and the greener one is the blueberry.

Top Ten Addicting TV Shows. Because I can.

1.) Weeds. Got to say it. i mean, it's about weed. And she's hot. And a slut. Plus there's marijuana in it. and it's funny. Weeds is great, watch it.
2.) That 70's show. Yeah, you've seen it. It's a bunch of actors we all know and love now as stupid kids smokin pot all the time. Relatable and hilarious.
3.) Freaks and Geeks. I love all of them. They are so funny lookin, it's great. it's nice to see them all now, in movies and shit. If you've never seen this show you should check it out.
4.)30 Rock. Tina Fey's new show, it's great. Full of wonderful characters and intense situations with, again, stupid people trying to follow them.
5.)Arrested Development. This show is very funny, makes you actually like rich people. They're pretty funny, you gotta admit. It's about a very rich family who looses everything and hasto work through it.
6.)Ru Pauls Drag Race. This is a show about drag queens competing to be the best. Reality show, yes, but there are drag queens. It's great.
7.)Family Guy. They're funny, just don't watch them if you're on shows. Ask Coco, it's bad.
8.)3rd rock from the sun. Aliens are funny.
9.)Australia's Next Top Model. Strangely, Australians are just much better than we are.
10.)Futurama. Don't watch it on saliva though a friend of Penny's did and thought the little computer screen was eating her.

What is Shmokenhagen?

Due to a conversation had with an old friend, a genie you may say, I realized that I should probably explain the story of this blog. Well then. We all met because of The Magnificent Stoner Ferret, Penny lane's pet. Sugar Magnolia took him and since then we've all been fast friends. We used to basically hang out and smoke pot together, but we've basically become a family. Somewhere in the giant smoking haze of first semester we decided we were eventually going to set up a school in amsterdam teaching all classes as well as smoking etiquette, how to grow, rolling the perfect blunt, and other classes. Who knows if the place will ever really exist, but we named it Shmokenhagen. Since then we decided the suite would be named shmokenhagen as well, a temporary pace, but Shmokenhagen moves with us. The smoke carries it. These are our stories and our thoughts, the characters are these:
Bob McToker, that's me. I set this all up so I get to be first, fuck ya'll bitches. I love music.
Penny Lane, My GF. She is a work aholic who loves theater more than anything. She was the original stoner and has turned us all. MARY JANE EDIT: Sorry McCocker Penny Lane only turned u into a stoner. Me and Big Bong have led a sensimillia filled life long before you guys entered our lifes.
Mary Jane, she's a cool cat, used to be an art major now does womens studies. She is from the hood and takes bigger bong rips than anyone I know.
Sugar Magnolia, the ferret's roomate. She puts up with a lot, but comes from a family of stoners so we are all basically jelous.
Big Bong, he is our resident mystic, dates Mary Jane. He will go out in the woods for a blunt on a regular basis and knows more than anyone would expect.
Sensi Diamonds, Penny's roomate. She also loves theater and she has a polaroid picture project going. Ran out of film recently though, it's a shame.
MasterKeif, plays a shit ton of halo, is from NH, same as me. Tall lanky motherfucker.
Last is Cocoa, a fellow music lover. She doesn't smoke anymore except rarely but parties just as hard as the rest of us.

Basically, that's it. We'l all be posting fun things. Smokage for all!

SNOW BONGS!

hey hey fellow smokers it's Sugar Magnolia here. I feel like I'm back in the west with all this crazy weather here at the hagen. A monster of a storm hit this morning and it brought some beautiful white fluffy snow, in fact i think it's still coming down. The weather guy said 4-6 inches and that means in this place everything shuts down, silly east coast that's nothing. But still we all thought that it wouldn't hurt to be prepared in case the school did close because of weather. The first thing we needed to be sure we had enough weed to last the day. Because what's a snow day if you don't get to be blazed the whole time? the next essential item is food. we began to gather everything we had and realized that we had more than enough to last through a day, maybe even two.
Our talk of survival quickly changed to what we wanted to eat right then. There was a wide range of food groups being thrown around but we eventually settled on Chinese food, the feast of all stoners. the amount of food that we ordered was astounding, it was a huge box and we killed it. After the feast, we decided it was time to have our first ever snow bong here at Shmokenhagen. Thanks to some early thinking by McToker we had an ample amout of snow waiting to be used. Tank was the bong of choice and we filled her up all the way. The smoke was beautiful. There's nothing more refreshing than a snow bong. the hits are like cold mountain air and take me back to the mountains with every hit i take.
Now we're off to bruce the car. We're going to pretend he's an igloo and smoke a fat blunt then go play in the snow.
Peace and love fellow weed lovers,
Sugar Magnolia

Foot Herpes

So two posts one day, its Mary Jane again. I am blazed so its going to be a better post this time. We just found these weird red sploches on Master Keifs ankles and shins and figured out that he probably has foot herpes. These are really fresh early 90's looking air force ones from a salvation army and he was wearing them without socks. AHHH ICK. so now he probably has foot herpes.

The Bitch is Back

Whats up. Mary Jane back again. Its been a week since I posted here saying that I would return and I have. I've been really really bored here at the hagen, things have been too routine around here for my liking. Some interesting shit has gone down and some new shit have been brought back into our lives. Master Keif wrote about the completion of the tri-force already that was phenominal. A visit to the animal is near and I cant wait. We are about to go on break as well which means that these next two weeks are going to be so bunz and so balls and so fucking slow. I am going on a date with CoCo later. It is going to be great. Ill write about later, when I remember it lol.

Printing

Yo, Masterkief here. Oh fuck you spell check, Masterkief does not deserve your red line of shame...fuck it. Anyways, I'm printing shit in the computer lab, but I thought it should be noted that we were talking about some really cool stuff while we were high (not sure I even need to say that). We took a picture with all the pieces we own, it was pretty impressive, we have a lot of glass. There are three bongs: Jackie, Mandingo, and Tank. We decided that because of the way they look/hit the bongs should be labeled as parts of the Tri-Force from Zelda. I know what you're thinking, how fucking cool are these kids? We're that cool.

Anyways, it broke down like this:

Jackie: Power (Ganon), Jackie hit's the hardest of all the bongs and has the biggest party bowl, so it's only appropriate that she's power.

Tank: Wisdom (Zelda), People have a tendency to say wicked profound shit while they're smoking tank. Or maybe we just say a lot of weird stuff when we're high and we usually use tank...not sure.

Mandingo: Courage (Link), Mandingo is the smoothest hit out of all the bongs. Because of the way it's made (something about a percolator? I don't know) you can take the milkiest hits and not even feel it. To quote one of us: It's like a sauna on your face (I think that was either Mary Jane or Penny Lane, holy shit, those rhyme). I think this makes it courage, or maybe it's because it's a manly piece, and Link was like, the man.

Alright, done printing, MasterKeif out.

PS: Halo Wars comes out in like, a week or two. Sick!

Flipping Library

Hey, Masterkeif here. I'm stuck at the library while everyone else screws around in shmokenhagen/attempts to do work. I figure that if I can't smoke (I'm on a break for a few days) I should go do work, but fuck that shit. I already need a distraction. Hence this post.

Earlier we were talking about how cool it would be if this blog got really famous and Mary Jane made a movie about it. We started talking about what archetypes we fit into in our group of friends.

I believe it was decided that McCocker, er McToker, was the band geek, which seems appropriate. Mary Jane was a big city stoner, although we never really elaborated on what the fuck that means exactly. Penny Lane is a theatre dork/weed encyclopedia (that last part was my own addition), and Sensi Diamonds is a theatre dork with (as Mary Jane explained it) a generous helping of indie kid taste in music. Sugar Magnolia was a ski-bunny, which makes sense as there are a pair of nice ass ski's chillin on her wall. I was told that I was a reformed jock type of stoner. I guess I'm not going to live down high school sports. Lame.

Basically, it was some high kid shit, but it was pretty interesting. Also, very important to note: as he get's more and more stoned McCocker, er McToker's eyes become more and more squinty. Fellow stoners reading this blog, sound familiar? Yeah, he's that kid in our group of friends. I don't understand how he can see the bowls that he's hitting.

Oh, when Mary Jane was helping that kid with spanish, it was a spectacular failure. Ok, distraction over, time to finish some bullshit.

-Master Keif

what it is

so its like sunday the fuckit of feb. im high right now and if i dont remember to write in this now i wont and then ill feel lazy. This Mary Jane-formally known as LaurelWeed- mccocker , er toker?,is on a break right now so im writing in this shit. I ate some shrooms the other day with sugar magnolia- formally know as sensi diamonds and tripped mildly, it was in these chocolates and it wasnt that much but watever. I went over to the halo playing fucks from next door who are always really loud and played a little halo with them for the first time. Those kids included MasterKeif and all these other weird dbags. It kinda was balls and I was just tripping balls so it wasnt the best experience. But it was a pleasant way to spend a really short trip. The screen was vibrating and the colors were shifting alittle. My hands were shaking and MasterKeif sounded exactly like Nipps, that was pretty fucking entertaining. Other than the usual hallucinations that come with my shroom trips this was a pretty mild trip. I retired to my room and hung out with SensiDiamonds-formally known as BlackWidow- it was chill. My room is very accomidating to trips, it has just the right vibe for shroom trips. I did a bunch of salvia for the first time in there a couple of weeks ago with two friends and it was fucking weird and great. Great room for tripping, highly recomend a record player for trips too man.
When the weather was great a couple of days ago we went down to the lake with Nuggets, blankets, joints, and frizbees. It was Sensi Diamonds, Big Bong, Penny Lane, Mc Toker, Sugar Magnolia, Master Keif and myself chillin down by lake shmokin laughin and havin the times that college students are meant to have. The work has been really piled on every single one of us the weather was ...SIDE NOTE MCTOKER IS SO FUCKING HIGH THAT HE THOUGH THE WAS BEING INGENIUS WHEN REALLY HE WAS BEING A FOOL. he was being so foolish about a stapler stapling a different way that was just really dangerous and useless and laughed really hard in my ear, im partially deaf. Also Sensi Diamonds wisdom teeth are growing in at horrible angles. any HOO. this man rolled by after numerous attacks on Nuggets life by several large black and brown lab pit mixes. ALso Side not this dealer friend of mine just walked in and asked me to help him of with his spanish homework. Hilarity ensues. I have to stop writing this for a while..I will return. TO BE CONTINUED...

Shmokenhagen Chronicles: Bob McToker

http://usmjparty.blogspot.com/

Quitting the Reefer

Lately Penny and I have been trying to quit smoking the reefer. Kind of. Mostly we simply try not to smoke as much as we used to. The copious amounts we where consuming were a little ridiculous. We'd smoke in one session 3 or 4 bongs and a blunt. Then an hour or two later, we'd repeat. Now seems to be the quitting time. I'm quitting cigarettes. Today is my first day without any at all, and it's going kind of badly, but I am trying. Quiting weed just doesn't seem like too good an idea. I know that if I get a court date or drug test and had to do it, I could, but I just don't want too. I do feel a little slower when I smoke as much as I usually do, so slowing down seems like the best idea. Last night a bong was smoked, but just one. Funny story about last night; penny and I had been practicing her song for voice lessons in the music department and we didn't get back till about midnight. Master Keef, Sensi Diamonds, Laurelweed, and Black Widow where all in the back room, stoned out of there minds. Sensi and Black had made chocolate chip cookies earlier, and when we arrived there were about 20 left. I had one when Laurelweed offered it to me, and Penny didn't have any. Master Keef brought them all into the back room and procedded to eat all but three of them without even realizing it. Of course we all yelled and laughed at him, stoned fuck. That's it for now, love and happy smokage!
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Shmokenhagen Chronicles: Bob McToker

Shmokenhagen Chronicles: Bob McToker

Bob McToker

Here in Shmokenhagen, we are currently having a dry spell. No herb to be found. Laurelweed is sitting on the couch calling all the dealers we know. I have exhausted my own contacts, after being sold bad chocolates I don't feel like dealing with the one guy I know well. Penny Lane, my GF is doin homework as usual. We've decided to take a small break from our lifestyle. Saturday Night was just a string of bad and good, but mostly bad signs. I started the night off by going to the symphony and eating shrooms with cocoa and her boytoy Wolfgang Walken. I had fun, listened to a Rachmaninov piece and fuckin prokopiev. I was tripping balls, not really paying attention to the music. I was watching the walls move like snakes and playing with my jaw. We headed back to the suite when we were done, with me still tripping. I stopped on the way to buy cigarettes from the gas station. The guys face kept changing colors, but I pulled it off. I got back and started to watch the magic flute. Big Bong had taken some shrooms too and we decided we needed more. Penny lane got back and we all went to a party, but it was packed. Couldn't make it across the room let alone talk to anyone. We headed back home and the night started going worse. We were out of drugs by this point, just had a bowl or two left. We packed Tank and smoked her, full of icecubes and then packed jackie as well. When we were done smoking Laurelweed stood up too fast. She didn't realize that carnage was in her lap and she fell. We may be able to fix her, but she broke right down the stem. We mourned for a bit then called Jimmy Johns. 10 minutes later our little alien baby, ET fell out of Master Keef's hands as he was cleaning her, breaking the stem right off. Two pieces in one night, destroyed. Sad day. Penny and I have decided to take a bit of a break, just smoke on the weekends. Adios for now amigos, more great stories later. Love and Smokage!

Bob McToker




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